The Obvious

this one’s for the ladies

Posted in film, important, nablopomo by theobvious on November 14, 2010

Warning! This is a silly post! Proceed at your own peril.

We all know that smart and cynical is the new sexy. Not every modern intelligent woman wants Schwartz or Brad Pitt any more—many will much rather have House. The kind of woman that loves with her brain appreciates the brilliance and clever repartee that the likes of Gregory House, MD have to offer, even if they come without a shock of blond hair and piercingly blue eyes. The lineup of unlikely heartthrobs up to now has included, to name a few:

Edmund Blackadder (especially Series 2, I think): cowardly, spiteful, egotistic, and very clever.

Gregory House: brash, egocentric, addicted to drugs, misanthropic, and very clever.

Hank Moody: a failure in many ways, insolent, sex addict, no self-control, and yes, clever.

John James Preston (Mr. Big): conceited, irrational, weak-willed, yet still clever.

Remember, these are not personal favorites, but results of highly scientific research. (My own tastes are only reflected in Blackadder being named first, he he.) These men may not be uniformly handsome, but they are all appealing to the female intelligence. Well, my selfless quest for new knowledge has yielded an addition to the list in the shape of:

Bernard Black. He is an alcoholic, to be sure, those droopy eyelids may not be everyone’s cup of tea, he is disgustingly messy, he hates people, and he smokes like a chimney. But! He owns a bookstore (+212 cool points with a reading woman), and knows his Austen from his Toole. He is charmingly eccentric, and quite witty in the right way. (“I fell, it was not exactly dashing.”) He is grumpy and possessive of his books, and he ruffles his hair when he’s troubled—and so I rest my case and you all must watch the regrettably short Black Books right now.

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rotten tomatoes

Posted in bad, film, funny, the thrilling goings-on by theobvious on July 8, 2008

Hey there. I didn’t get to be a Plus Sized Model today because of rain, so there’s nothing much happening in life. I ought to be working, but I have no brain, oh did I just say that out loud, yes I believe I did, oh no, well what are you gonna do.

So this weekend was ingeniously spent meeting up with my school girlfriends and watching miles of Whose Line Is It Anyway, a show where everything’s made up and they used to have a Lithuanian version, but it wasn’t as funny. Thanks God for the diligent Polish YouTube users who apparently have no lives lots of time on their hands, which they use to subtitle and upload episode after episode of WLIIA. In fact, I’m watching and learning, due to an inborn disease causing my eyes to be drawn of their own accord to any writing of any sort, including the crappy subtitles on complicated movies like Shrek.

And speaking of complicated movies (my, what an elephant elegant segue), we saw You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, don’t ask me why. You know how they say something is burned into one’s retinas? Well, this burned my retinas right off and would proceed to get etched in the brain were it not for the circumstances mentioned above, so it bypassed the empty space inside my head and went out the back like a bullet. Boy oh boy that was one huge, painful waste of time.

By all means avoid watching it, and if you do watch it, don’t come complaining to me because I won’t hear a word about that absolutely horrible, stereotype-spewing, lacklustre (and lack-everything-else for that matter), so below the belt it doesn’t even come up for air, disgraceful crapfest, pardon my Polish.

playing house

Posted in film, game, silly by theobvious on April 8, 2008

The last available episode of House is done and watched. I hear this season is going to be shorter, so these might be the last episodes of season Four we’re seeing. If that is indeed the case, then we need to prepare for a long wait. While the time away by creating fanfic, shall we?

Here’s my newest idea for what would be neat to see on the show. House is a great doctor, right? And people tend to like being alive instead of dead, especially when that clashes with their previous expectations, right? And usually, grateful people want to somehow reward whomever has helped them, right? So there would be gifts and letters and flowers and things, right?

Now, we know House would never take any of that crap home. But some of it could be valuable. So Cuddy could make a cupboard-closet-room thing at the hospital to store it all. Like a House-shrine. Of course, she doesn’t like feeding his megalomania, but that’s neither here nor there. She would still be physically unable to throw away stuff that could profit the hospital.

Sometimes, when nobody’d be able to find House, he’d eventually be located sitting in his gift-room, looking at the weird things people would have chosen to send him, musing on the nature of humankind. ‘What kind of person gives a football to a cripple? Interesting,’ – all the while performing amazing juggling tricks with the ball using his cane and his healthy leg.

He could also read the letters at random, sometimes quoting relevant passages about his brilliance to get a point across to Cuddy who would groan and swear she’ll have the shrine disassembled that very minute, but then relent, maybe persuaded by Wilson who’d claim that this at least is a healthier way to indulge House than letting him experiment on his patients.

Or something, you know.

something completely different

Posted in film, good, important by theobvious on February 2, 2008

This is seriously exciting. I was browsing YouTube, looking for something good to watch, and I came across this. Some things are so obvious that it never crosses your mind to even look for them, and when you find them accidentally you couldn’t be happier, so without any further ado I bring you the Hedgehog in the Fog!

It’s a 1975 Russian cartoon by Yuri Norshteyn (the link is to his Wikipedia page), and most of my friends grew up with it, as did I. It has received a number of well-deserved awards over the years, and so did Norshteyn’s other famous work – the Tale of Tales. And what do you know, that one is also on YouTube.

Watching both of these will barely take half an hour out of your life, but it just might be thirty very well spent minutes, so I encourage you to watch and then let me know how you liked it.

the bright side of life

Posted in film, life, random, the thrilling goings-on, valuable lesson by theobvious on January 25, 2008

My main plan for this afternoon was a cup of coffee with a dear friend of mine, and I had based the day around it. That went to hell when I was walking through the door, because the dog made it out before me, and when she runs away every plan needs to be put on hold. She hadn’t run away for over a year now, but today her instinct got the better of her.

Anyway, when we were done chasing her through the new snow (kind of fun, but not with disgusting old hags yapping at Dad and me from every direction; God, people can be so bloody annoying) it was too late to go anywhere, so all that was left was put on A.’s old cords and sit down to watch movies. So I finally watched Life of Brian and The Holy Grail.

I really like Monty Python. Theirs is a kind of humour that is easy to appreciate – with a healthy dose of PG-16, but lots of wordplay and just good old tongue-in-cheek parody too. I always watch comedy with the question in mind: was this fun to do for the crew? This seems to have been a hoot, and that makes it all the more enjoyable for me as a viewer.

And there’s also the music. I actually have their album (Monty Python Sings) in my walkman, and it’s hilarious. I’d recommend it to anyone. Life of Brian has some of the funnier songs, while The Holy Grail has lots of its funny moments based on the soundtrack – like the adventures of Sir Robin, or the majestic music that follows Arthur around.

So all in all, I guess I’m trying to say that even though my perfectly thought-through plan for today went haywire, I’m kind of glad it did, because I had a good day in the end. Let’s see this as a sort of practise in looking at the bright side. *whistle whistle*

cool video

Posted in film, good by theobvious on January 14, 2008

This is seriously neat:

It can also give you an idea of the kind of video project I appreciate. Drums – not obligatory.

almost closing time

Posted in film, i don't know, writing by theobvious on January 10, 2008

If I ever make a movie, it will be about this girl who lives in my head. Her job is to sit in a clean white space and make announcements over a microphone. In a museum. She’s the girl you hear when you linger too long and the lights start to dim, and she says in a very pleasant voice: ‘Dear visitors, our museum will be closing in half – an – hour. Please come back tomorrow. We will be closing in half – an – hour.’

The first takes of the movie will be her feet. I want her to sit behind a sheet of white cloth – it’s a modern museum, with an innovative view on exhibit design. The cloth doesn’t quite reach the ground, and she is rocking on her chair a bit, stretching her foot, kicking her ballet flat off and wiggling her toes, playing catch with her shoe and both her feet. All while she repeats in this cool nice tone: ‘…in thirty minutes.’

She makes other announcements too, but this one is the one following her around. Everything in her life is a little bit like that museum – not yet closed, but soon to be, with a fascinating secret life already beginning to swarm in the rooms visitors are not allowed to: excited preparations for the next day, private little birthday parties, jokes you wouldn’t get if you heard them. You won’t, of course, but she will.

Parts of this movie would be so perfectly normal that the viewers would relate to them just by sitting on their couch. Other parts, however, would be like having someone else’s fever hallucinations, with the kind of dialogue I love in a movie: people speak in unnatural speeds and tones of voice, and it doesn’t quite make sense, but almost does, and when it’s all over I feel giddy and hungover on words at the same time.

One day I will make that film. Or maybe not, but at least it’s already made in my head. I also might write a book about the creator who only worked on one subject his whole life: made a film, a sculpture, a book, a dance – all on one character, someone he saw one late night on the tube and the light reflected on their face just so. When I think about my movie, I feel like that guy sometimes. That’s probably good.

What would you want to write, make a film, or dance about?