The Obvious

home improvement

Posted in diy, home, photos by theobvious on August 28, 2008

We’ve lived in this apartment for eleven years now, I think. It has three bedrooms (my parents, my brother, and my grandma each have their own), and a living room which A. and I inhabit. For many years the room looked like this:

old room plan

old room plan

It felt very brown and we were living more or less in a train carriage: long, with little space between the furniture, and no privacy, because it only has three walls. We had a screen between our sofa and wardrobe, but it only functioned as a symbolic ‘Don’t Look’ sign, and we had to get our clothes and carry them ‘inside’ to get dressed. Of course, entertaining was a drag too.

A while ago, A. and I bought a new bed and redesigned our whole room. I wrote about it here. Now I have pictures, because everyone likes to look at pictures, right. I’ll put them under the cut just in case. (more…)

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things of notice

Posted in braces, diy, important, random by theobvious on January 5, 2008

When I’m talking to you and say something that makes you go: ‘Sweet baby [deity of your choice], the poor child is so in love with me! How do I let her down easily?’ or ‘Oh noes, she is in such deep trouble, I need to give her all my money!’ or ‘Ewww, she is so fishing for compliments and it’s so obvious!’ – please remember, I’m not saying any of these things. I just don’t think before I speak. Except for when I say ‘I am waaaay too fat and ugly to eat this.’ In that case I do expect you to tell me I’m the prettiest, slimmest girl you’ve ever seen. Alternatively, ‘Shut up, you moron!’ will also do.

Now that’s out of the way, I’d like to address the person who googled ‘when am i going to diy’ and got to this page. Darling, you made me tear up a little bit. I was all poised and ready with a sermon on how the DIY lifestyle is a smart and easy choice to make, how it’s so much fun and all you need is a bit of determination and a sense of humour, bla bla bla, when I got it. I’m so sorry, but Google is probably not going to help you find the answer. Learning to spell might, but I’m not sure about that either. In any case, I certainly hope you feel good enough to not google it again and will never read this.

And another issue of utmost importance – I think I’m developing very deep, um, nasolabial folds (what’s the human way of saying that?) from keeping my mouth wide open for half an hour every evening, brushing away. This might or might not make me look like a wrinkled old lady. Aaaand now is your cue to tell me good things. Remember, like we just talked about?

going all diy on you

Posted in christmas, diy, random by theobvious on December 10, 2007

‘How do you feel when you marry your ideal?’ – sang Bertie Wooster, also known as ‘Hugh Laurie when he was nowhere as sexy as now, but still had all his own hair’. Well, I can testify that it’s a fine, fine feeling. Today my ideal and I had a great evening which featured some inappropriate jokes, buying stationery, sketching cards with mice (year of the Rat is coming!), lots of goofing around with our friends, decorating their Christmas tree, and ice cream.

We don’t have a Christmas tree at home, which makes sense as we are Jewish and don’t celebrate Christmas. However, today I had some ideas that might make your tree look a little different from every other tree in the apartment block. I haven’t got any pictures, so use your imagination. All of these are delightfully easy to make, the supplies are cheap and the advice is absolutely gratis as I don’t have a way to use it and it’s probably nothing new anyway.

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1. Bundles

You will need:
– lightweight round objects (i.e., foam balls)
– fun colourful fabric (i.e., tablecloth you won’t regret cutting up)
– needle and thread
– ribbons
You will:
– cut the fabric into squares
– wrap each ball, making a bundle like Santa’s gift bag
– stitch the top together, adding a loop of ribbon to the back
– hang it up!

2. Grandma Balls

You will need:
– boring ornament balls (too different, too identical, too old, whatever)
– fun yarn
– glue
You will:
– take each ornament ball and dab it with glue here and there
– wrap the yarn snugly around the ball, covering it completely
– hang it up!

3. Modern Art

You will need:
– the cheapest set of plain metal cutlery you find
– red ribbon
You will:
– tie a bit of ribbon to each piece of cutlery (forks should look best)
– hang ’em up!
Note: you could also use your best antique silverware, but then you’ll have to keep an eye on it.

4. Dressed Up

You will need:
– beaded necklaces and bracelets (cheap at thrift stores and supermarkets)
You will:
– connect them all by the ends to form a multi-colored and -textured garland
– wrap the garland around your tree!

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Now, isn’t all this just bloody brilliant. Maybe we should get a tree, and then have a decoration craft-party, and then enjoy the tree for three whole minutes, and then get thrown out of the house by all the Jews and militant eco-freaks who surround us? That does sound like a great plan. May we come and sleep over at your place when we’re homeless?