The Obvious

kitty’s made a break for it

Posted in bad, cat, nablopomo, pets by theobvious on November 21, 2010

Our cat Oscar ran away last night. A.’s been out looking for him five times today, and we both went another three times. At this point we’re just hoping he’ll come back and giving many hugs to our remaining cat (who seems unfazed by the events, but we might just not get his signs).

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how i got vacation tickets

Posted in a., bad, hatred, nablopomo, travel by theobvious on November 10, 2010

We’ve been planning to have a winter vacation this year, so when I got a nice fat envelope for a translation—really, I’ve never held such a thick wad of bills before, although don’t be mistaken, it’s because they paid me in twenties—we decided to get the plane tickets right away, to have the largest expense behind us.

Usually, this kind of thing is my responsibility, so I logged on to the online booking page and selected the flight we’d set our hearts on already, one with two very long connections in Vienna, so we’d have the additional treat of spending an afternoon and a night in a magnificent city we’d never seen before. Once the flight was booked, the website gave me a printable receipt, and I immediately wired the money over to the agency. Meanwhile, the e-ticket arrived to my inbox. It said: 9 Jan V. to T. via Kiev, connection 5 hrs; 21 Jan T. to V. via Kiev, connection 7 hrs.

Now, Kiev is a city we have most definitely been to before. In particular, we’ve enjoyed its fabulous airport, reminiscent of the train station in A.’s native provincial town in Russia. We’ve actually missed a flight home from Kiev once and had to take an overnight train because we’d made the mistake of thinking that a cab would get us from the city to the airport in an hour and a half. It is obvious now that a five-hour connection would be just about enough to get down town and back without stopping, and provided there’s no traffic.

Well, there was nothing to do but pick up the phone and call the booking agency. Hello, I said, I have a problem with reservation #xxxxxxx. Yes, the one that says NO CANCELLATIONS NO EXCHANGES NO REFUNDS underneath the four-digit price. Yes, I booked it myself just now. Yes, I’ve already paid for it. Yes, I’d like to cancel that, please. Why yes, I’d love a discount code to the same amount on my next purchase with you! Thank you!—After this highly improbable act of mercy on the part of the clerk, I only had to wait for my code to come in and re-book.

The next day (yesterday), the code was sitting there in my inbox, and I rushed gleefully back to the booking page. This time, I double-checked where I was clicking on, and made sure to get Vienna and the long connection, not the option listed right below it, of a mere 40-minute transfer in Vienna’s unfamiliar airport (we wouldn’t want any discomfort the second time round, right?). The tickets were booked, the price difference paid, the confirmation mailed to me, and happy announcements made to our friends in Destination Country.

Today I decided to tell our friend in Vienna, who was a big part of the reason for this whole NO KIEV WE WANT VIENNA hullabaloo, the times of our arrivals. January 9th is the day we’re flying there. The day we’re flying back, deliberated over for over a week with regard to our lonely cats and our limited leave from work, is January 21st. Except that I’d marked this as the day we fly out, so most of the journey would be on the 22nd. A Saturday. When A. can’t fly because he has severe Judaism. On an unrelated note, I hate religion.

To sum up, this, children, is why I shouldn’t be permitted to do things. Especially things involving money, where a mistake would (and will) cost upwards of $200 to fix. Oh, and that lovely second night in Vienna? Will be all mine to enjoy. Alone.

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rotten tomatoes

Posted in bad, film, funny, the thrilling goings-on by theobvious on July 8, 2008

Hey there. I didn’t get to be a Plus Sized Model today because of rain, so there’s nothing much happening in life. I ought to be working, but I have no brain, oh did I just say that out loud, yes I believe I did, oh no, well what are you gonna do.

So this weekend was ingeniously spent meeting up with my school girlfriends and watching miles of Whose Line Is It Anyway, a show where everything’s made up and they used to have a Lithuanian version, but it wasn’t as funny. Thanks God for the diligent Polish YouTube users who apparently have no lives lots of time on their hands, which they use to subtitle and upload episode after episode of WLIIA. In fact, I’m watching and learning, due to an inborn disease causing my eyes to be drawn of their own accord to any writing of any sort, including the crappy subtitles on complicated movies like Shrek.

And speaking of complicated movies (my, what an elephant elegant segue), we saw You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, don’t ask me why. You know how they say something is burned into one’s retinas? Well, this burned my retinas right off and would proceed to get etched in the brain were it not for the circumstances mentioned above, so it bypassed the empty space inside my head and went out the back like a bullet. Boy oh boy that was one huge, painful waste of time.

By all means avoid watching it, and if you do watch it, don’t come complaining to me because I won’t hear a word about that absolutely horrible, stereotype-spewing, lacklustre (and lack-everything-else for that matter), so below the belt it doesn’t even come up for air, disgraceful crapfest, pardon my Polish.

too soon to relax, there’s still new year!

Posted in bad, good, i don't know, me myself, new year, news by theobvious on December 29, 2007

First of all, sorry for the long absence. I was busy making a ‘my year in pictures’ post over at LiveJournal. I won’t repost it here to avoid boring the most faithful reader of both these blogs (duh, me), but here’s a link. No fear, it’ll open in a new window, you won’t be distracted from reading on.

Here’s something else that happened in the last few days. I have managed not to drag a long-overdue work assignment over into the new year. My untraditional way of avoiding that unpleasant scenario was… to quit. A. will finish the job. Meanwhile, I am more than a little humbled by this experience.

See, I’m not a quitter by nature. Quite the opposite, in fact. I’m renowned for my (often annoying) persistence. Yet this was something I just couldn’t finish – every time I’d sit down to do it, I’d get this wringing feeling in my belly. And let me tell you – it’s not very nice to have your belly wrung.

Now, as we’re getting ready to enter the year 2008 A.D., I find myself in the new role of a giver-upper. Or, to give it a more refined name – a sissy. Uh-oh, as the Teletubbies used to say. Incidentally, have you ever watched a whole episode of those? I have. Man, there’s some true wisdom in there!

Where was I… Well, the message of this embarrassing post is – there will be no New Year’s resolutions, because I’m a wimp, so no use. However, I want to wish all of you that all of your resolutions would come true. Also, if you’re to assume any new roles in the coming year, let them only be pleasant, i.e., Marie Curie or Clint Eastwood. Let nobody surprise you in disagreeable ways, least of all – yourself. And let every blog you read be exciting and updated every day. Twice.

Hooray for new beginnings!

i wish i could punch ’em

Posted in bad, rant, silly by theobvious on December 14, 2007

I have been in deep and meaningful conversation with the support desk of my webmail provider all day. They seem to be a fine, fine office. Our conversation was as follows (name of webmail changed to avoid a lawsuit):

Me (through their support interface): Hi, please help, Yee-haw won’t send my emails. [technical description of problem, including an exact description of the error messages I’m getting]

Them (through email): Hi, we want to help you. We need to know what error messages you are getting. For that purpose, please send us screenshots of you not being able to send your messages through Yee-haw. Please use the Yee-haw account you’re having problems with.

Me (through my other major webmail account): Hi, I can’t use my Yee-haw, that’s kind of the whole problem. Here are the screenshots, please solve my case.

Them: Hi, thanks for replying. We aren’t sure who you are. Please prove you’re the same person (and not just someone trying to steal the answers to someone else’s vital question and sell them on eBay for $3,000,000,000) by telling us your date of birth.

Me: Hi, here is my very secret information. I was born on July 18th. I’m sure no villain would have been able to obtain that knowledge. Now you know it’s me, please help.

Them: Hi, thanks for sticking with us. In order for us to help you, we need you to send us screenshots of the problem you get when trying to send email. We’d rather you did this through your Yee-haw account.

Me: OMFG ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS PLEASE SAY YOU’RE KIDDING ME AAARGH (head explodes)

Still waiting for the answer. I can’t shake the feeling I’m standing at a helpdesk with a stereotypically blonde attendant. I’m here to see Mr. Jones. No, Jones. Not Smith. J-o-n-e-s. How many bosses do you have named Jones? Listen, there’s no call for this kind of language. Okay, do you wanna take this outside?

Do you, Yee-haw?

i’m a little teapot short and stout

Posted in bad, me myself by theobvious on November 19, 2007

A. is coming back! He’ll be here tomorrow and there’s something I need to get out of my system before that. So sorry, all twenty of you anonymous readers, Mom, and Rachel, but here goes:

I’m fat! I’m FAT. Fat, fat, fat. I am as fat as a hippo. Make that two hippos. And a boar. I am rounder than the Earth. I could be a fertility symbol. I’m plump, bulky, corpulent. I’m a cow. I’m elephantine. I’m not slender, nor slim.

I am stupid. I am uncreative, useless, dumb. Not a genius, not even close to one. I can’t think. I haven’t been working. Nor working out. Have I mentioned I am fat? I am dimwitted. I detest myself. I am unworthy.

Whoever likes me has poor taste. Whoever wants to be my friend just doesn’t have any other option. Nobody cares what I think. Everyone hates me. At least, all the people who matter do. I suck at everything. I am disgusting.

I love my husband. I’ll try not to tell him these things. You, Internet, on the other hand, can handle it. You are much stronger than A. or me. Especially me. Because I am weak. And fat.

i need a happy post title

Posted in bad, good by theobvious on November 14, 2007

There is no proper shower in this house right now. Nor is there condensed milk. I had eight hours of class yesterday and six today, beginning at 9 am. Tomorrow there’s just one class, but it’s at 11 am and extremely boring, and I need to go all the way downtown for that. I have heaps of homework. The weather is cold and slushy. And A. is still away.

This picture was found here. My mom thinks it looks just like me. I think it looks like Evil Kitty from Powerpuff Girls.

On the other hand, I actually like the snow, I’m wrapped up warm and drinking great tea, I spent a perfect two hours today with one of my best friends, I talked to A. for several hours yesterday, there’s a pile of money coming our way, a great photographer included several of my pictures into his own set, I have two seasons of House on DVD, all ready for my pleasure, and I made my girlfriend a perfect gift.

Once again, the good things outweigh the bad things. Ugh, how trite. There is not nearly enough teenage emo drama in my life.