it was sunny a week ago, snowed yesterday, rained today
After some time, one comes to personify the seasons. This is how the Greeks came to be the way they were, no doubt. There is no other way of explaining these illogical goings-on than by ascribing to them the same level of randomness as that of people’s thinking.
It is entirely plausible that somewhere in the castle of the Season Father live his four teenage (for that is the randomest age of all) children, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring. Plausible too: these are all names that have by now surely been given to more than a few unlucky babies in the Western Hemisphere by people too rich or idealistic to know better.
And now that we’re already stereotyping, why not give the seasons characters. Summer shall be carefree, Fall bookish, Winter caustic, and Spring fickle.
Spring: Quit hogging the remote, Fall! I want to watch Desperate Housewives!
Fall: Go watch the TV in the kitchen, this documentary isn’t finished yet.
Spring: You are such a bore. FATHER! FALL ISN’T SHARING THE REMOTE!
Booming Voice from the Study: Sort it out among yourselves, children.
Spring: Why are you being such a jerk?
Winter: Because she has nothing better to do.
Spring: That’s no excuse.
Summer: Isn’t it your turn to go play with the humans, Spring?
Winter: No, it’s mine. They’ll be delighted, I’m sure.
Summer: You are delightful!
Winter: Yes, quite.
Spring: I thought this week it would be my turn already.
Fall: You went last week, didn’t you.
Fall: So you never get more than a week in the beginning.
Spring: Oh yeah? Who died and made you Father?
Summer: Don’t be horrid!
Spring: Oh shut up. I’ll be in my room, text me when Winter’s had enough.
Winter: (makes a face) Don’t get your hopes up. I adore the humans.
Spring: You jerk, if you don’t like it, why don’t you give them over?
Fall: Will you go argue somewhere else? I’m trying to watch this.
Summer: Yes, let’s go play squash!
Winter: Fine. I’ll just go make sure the humans have snow.
This perfectly credible scenario would explain the bizarre developments of late and the fact that we still can’t take our bikes out of their mothballed stall and save on those outrageously expensive trolleybus tickets.