The Obvious

monday spirits

Posted in rant by theobvious on February 14, 2011

If I were a complaints choir, I’d sing thusly:

It’s so cold that I may die, and nobody will care;
I have got no time to read and nothing  good to wear;
Even if I had nice clothes, they wouldn’t fit me well;
I’ve no dog that would fetch help if I fell down a well.

Chorus: My life is very tragic
And I am full of spite
And the neighbours are too noisy
At all hours of the night.

My skin’s both dry and oily, and creams are yet to help;
And rhymes are such a problem, humpty-tumpty-kelp?
Good people are so far apart, but idiots abound;
And hardly anyone adopts those kitties from the pound;

Chorus: My life is very tragic
And I am full of spite
And the neighbours are too noisy
At all hours of the night.

My Neopets are dying because my care is poor;
Instead of putting things away, I put them on the floor;
The world has gloomy prospects, and revolutions fail;
Good bread that costs the most to buy’s the quickest to go stale.

Chorus: My life is very tragic
And I am full of spite
And the neighbours are too noisy
At all hours of the night.

I can’t afford the movies, but piracy’s a crime;
Though buses come on schedule, I rarely am on time;
Everyone hates Israel and blames things on the Jews;
I buy expensive products that I never even use.

Chorus: My life is very tragic
And I am full of spite
And the neighbours are too noisy
At all hours of the night.

I get too many emails, but few of them are good;
People very rarely do what they have said they would;
This July I will, oh dear, turn twenty-five years old;
And does it really have to be so very very cold?

Chorus: My life is very tragic
And I am full of spite
And there should be a law against
Loud noises late at night.

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