The Obvious

a tiny disagreement

Posted in silly by theobvious on December 3, 2010

We were arguing about something on the way to work, and suddenly the thought struck me: how many opinions there may be in the world that disagree with us, yet we don’t hear them because they are voiced by those too small for us! This may sound as though I mean the third-world nations and the gay, but I’ve something else in mind.

Just think: there are billions, zillions of ants in the world. What if they are the sort of folk who practice habitual dissent, and we just can’t hear their tiny little voices saying it? WEE DISAGREEEE!, they chirrup, with a slight emphasis on the e’s, AND WEE RESENT WHAT YOU SAID! — and nobody pays any attention. They gather in tiny rallies, holding up banners saying STOP THE OUTRAGE!, ANTS SAY NO!, and WE’RE GETTING ANTSY! — invisible to all, unless the banners are made of crumbs, in which case we do notice and say “Honey, get the Raid®, we’ve got ants again”.

Well, A. opines, ants don’t even have free will, they just serve their queen. WEE DISAGREE! yell the ants. AND INCIDENTALLY, WEE ALSO DISAGREE THAT COGITO ERGO SUM! SHEE THINKS FOR US, YET HERE WEE ARE! They brandish their fists at A., who goes on to say that anyway, he isn’t sure ants have voices, however tiny. WELL THAT’S RICH, reply the ants, LIKE YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT US! HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD OF THE GREAT OPERA, ANT-IGONE? WHO DO YOU THINK CAME UP WITH THAT? They shake their antennae indignantly.

Then, finally convinced that the voices of the small and the swarm-minded will never be heard, they march off into the twilight in long rows, singing WEE WILL ALL GO TOGETHER WHEN WEE GO. They disagree strongly with everything that’s being said on the planet, but we will never know.


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