The Obvious

finished — and so is this sofa

Posted in home, nablopomo by theobvious on November 30, 2010

I had an idea for tonight’s final post in Nablopomo 2010, but then forgot it— Oh! The sofa has just creaked. Maybe we’ll have to get a new one, which would be good, because this one is an abomination. We got it for its nice simple shape, gray colour, and small size, especially impressive considering that it is a fold-out, the only possible solution for our guest-room-less home. It was also significantly more affordable than the other options we were considering, which was a key factor as we had something like seven dollars eighty-three cents between us at the time, and a correspondingly cramped furniture budget.

However, we quickly discovered that the sofa fails at several key functions. One, it is unsuitable for sitting on, because the fold-out cushions are not fixed to the back, so as soon as one sits down, they immediately start sliding out and one finds oneself slumped in a starfish position, robbed entirely of self-respect. Two, it is unsuitable for sleeping on, because once you fold out the mattress bit, it turns out to be short, hard, and impossible to put a fitted sheet over, which, hello, does anyone have non-fitted sheets, even? Three, it is by no means complimentary to the room despite its very fitting colour, as it has proven extremely attractive to Lorca as a large and very stable claw sharpening device.

In short, this sofa is mostly good for holding decorative cushions, and we’ve got two chairs for that. Still, we couldn’t justify getting a new sofa less than a year since we bought this one. Until now. The creaking is an ominous sign. I keep using the armrest as a backrest so as to be able to sit on it without gradually migrating to the floor, and that is probably not provided for in the construction. Soon, the armrest will break off, sending me tumbling, maybe injuring me, which will give me the moral grounds to declare the sofa enemy of the state and send it to exile at the curb. We shall then need to go shopping for a better, sturdier, friendlier sofa. Even if all we have at the moment is seven dollars eighty-three cents.

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