i’ve figured it out
This is actually a blessing. It’s not easy to come up with thirty different topics to blog about in the course of one month. Things don’t even happen every day. So this would have been very difficult to do, were it not for A. leaving. Now there is a vast richness of sad things to talk about that will last me almost until the end of the game.
For instance, the litter-box race my kittens appear to be having. I came home today to a house reeking to high heaven and a box fuller of shit than any given politician or advertiser. Wait, is this disgusting? Is it too much? I said the same thing, only it wasn’t my screen that was suffering, it was all in my face and I was the one responsible for shoveling it all out.
Or take the fact that I just wrote an entire paragraph about some real feelings, with real serious words, and erased it all just because I realized that I can’t have anyone read it? Nor those other three sentences I just typed and then backspaced all over them. I’m choking on my own words here, can someone perform a virtual Heimlich maneuver?
My verbal shortcomings aside, the truth of the matter is I have been granted an opportunity to become the most insane, misanthropic, cat-hating (mysofelic?), and above all, self-hating (and self-hurting) person on Earth, and blog through it all. And I’ll be damned if I don’t. Watch me.