The Obvious

susan boyle

Posted in rant by theobvious on April 22, 2009

Y’all in on the brouhaha with Susan Boyle? Or, as most tabloids put it, ‘The Susan Boyle Phenomenon’? Can someone explain why all this is happening? The big deal is supposedly that being the underdog with her atrocious looks and her stigma of never having been loved, she can still sing. Shocker.

The never-been-kissed thing: why is it considered something special enough to flaunt like a proud banner of dirty laundry? Of course, it is medically proven that one sings better when getting laid on a regular basis. Something to do with exercising the vocal cords, I believe. Therefore, the fact that Ms. Boyle has not exchanged liquids with anyone and can still sing is mindboggling. Although, confidentially, the only improvement to my own vocal ability since the day of my first kiss is that I am gradually learning to sing less in public.

Also, why all the shocked faces about her being so good at what she does even though she is so ugly? Haven’t most previous Britain/America’s Got Talent winners been underdogs with way lesser chances of being kissed than Susan Boyle? One was eleven and therefore undesirable by law; some were overweight and thus pariahs (like Mariah); one even had bad teeth! *gasp* Honestly, this whole kalos kagathos thing seems a tad old-fashioned and unreasonable in a world that has seen Luciano Pavarotti and Christopher Lloyd.

I do believe the woman has a wonderful voice, but I also found her behaviour cringe-worthy, and the only thing surprising about the whole thing is that every self-respecting bad newspaper has printed a story with the words ‘Ugly Woman Captivates Hearts’ in the title, and every blog has featured a soppy confession that the author teared up while watching the show and was reminded that real beauty ‘hides in unexpected places’ or ‘is in the eye of the beholder’ or is ‘more than just the commercial crap invented by Mattel’.

I also believe that ‘rant’ is the most-used category on this blog. I am the Wicked Witch of the West, yay!


One Response

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  1. anniewhere said, on April 25, 2009 at 11:30 am

    what surprises me most in this whole story are the people touched by this phenomenon.

    you know, the ones who write comments like “my eyes were full of tears when i was watching her perform. now i believe in miracles again” etc.

    i mean, have they really seen ANYTHING in their lives? because it looks like they were floating blindly in the outer space until the moment Susan Boyle was on TV.

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