I’m sorry for the longish absence. I can explain! I was busy! Doing things! Seriously.
One of the things I’ve been doing is exercising. Now that my first month of being a Gym Member is well underway, I can say that it all seems to be going really well. ‘We can see some definition, girls!’ Of course, the real challenge was never the workout itself. It was always about my overwhelming social anxiety. You could have guessed, right?
So the first day was like the admission exam to Hell. I went alone, and I had to be nice to the reception lady, to manage not to fuss or fumble with my stuff, and not to drop the locker key. Next came the changing room, which was full of booby traps (oops) such as narrow passages, shared benches, just one bathroom, and lots of NAKED LADIES.
I have a problem with nakedness. People seem to think if you’re a girl there’s nothing you haven’t seen before, so it’s okay to prance around in the nude as long as everyone around is of the female persuasion. But for me it’s SO NOT OKAY OMG GET AWAY FROM ME AAARGH!!! The presence of body parts that do not belong to me is distressing.
And when you think you’re done with the horror for the day, there’s the actual workout. It’s a roomful of strangers, all lean and graceful, they are certainly calling you a fat cow under their breath, and by Jove there are tiny butts, flat bellies and unsaggy breasts galore! This when I haven’t even ironed my t-shirt, and my pants are all baggy-looking.
Oof, I just hope those pounds melt away soon so I have something to show for all the embarrassment. Meanwhile, I’m perfecting my Earnest Smile ™, trying to take up as little space as possible, wrapping my shy ass in a towel, and muttering ‘sorry’ every fifteen seconds just in case. At least I’m not alone anymore, thank God for friends.
ETA: This may not be clear from the above, but I’m not bashing anyone here! Everyone is entitled to be naked whenever and wherever they like. All I’m saying is I don’t feel comfortable being naked around strangers and seeing them naked, even if they are of the same sex as me. This is my problem, and I am trying to work it out.