zero contacts online
I don’t really do social networks. I use Facebook for birthday reminders, have accounts here and there from when I thought it rude to ignore a friend’s invite (I know better now), or when I sincerely believed that would help me connect with people from my past.
But since recently I believe it’s a little clingy to be like that. Hi, we haven’t talked for seven years, and before that we spent a week together in math camp (don’t get me wrong, I never really went to math camp). Now let’s hang out, tell me about your life, quickly like.
And being a desperately lonely kind of person, I need to fight the urge to be clingy every fricking day of my life. You have no idea how hard it is to not shower the people I love with texts, gifts, and stuff, just to make sure they love me back just as much, yea verily.
At one point in my life I felt the ‘living encyclopedia’ gig I had going was getting tired, wasn’t bringing in any more dividends, so I started pretending to be dumber than I was. I errrm’d and uhh’d a lot, used only short words, and said ‘how should I know’ all the time.
Now is kind of like that, only for emotional neediness. So I never switch on my MSN messenger anymore (oh, all the Arabic wedding proposals I used to get), I’ve forgotten the password to my ICQ account, and don’t expect me to accept your Orkut/Habbo invite.
I take pictures instead. Want a free portrait shoot? I’m better than you’d think.