The Obvious

almost closing time

Posted in film, i don't know, writing by theobvious on January 10, 2008

If I ever make a movie, it will be about this girl who lives in my head. Her job is to sit in a clean white space and make announcements over a microphone. In a museum. She’s the girl you hear when you linger too long and the lights start to dim, and she says in a very pleasant voice: ‘Dear visitors, our museum will be closing in half – an – hour. Please come back tomorrow. We will be closing in half – an – hour.’

The first takes of the movie will be her feet. I want her to sit behind a sheet of white cloth – it’s a modern museum, with an innovative view on exhibit design. The cloth doesn’t quite reach the ground, and she is rocking on her chair a bit, stretching her foot, kicking her ballet flat off and wiggling her toes, playing catch with her shoe and both her feet. All while she repeats in this cool nice tone: ‘…in thirty minutes.’

She makes other announcements too, but this one is the one following her around. Everything in her life is a little bit like that museum – not yet closed, but soon to be, with a fascinating secret life already beginning to swarm in the rooms visitors are not allowed to: excited preparations for the next day, private little birthday parties, jokes you wouldn’t get if you heard them. You won’t, of course, but she will.

Parts of this movie would be so perfectly normal that the viewers would relate to them just by sitting on their couch. Other parts, however, would be like having someone else’s fever hallucinations, with the kind of dialogue I love in a movie: people speak in unnatural speeds and tones of voice, and it doesn’t quite make sense, but almost does, and when it’s all over I feel giddy and hungover on words at the same time.

One day I will make that film. Or maybe not, but at least it’s already made in my head. I also might write a book about the creator who only worked on one subject his whole life: made a film, a sculpture, a book, a dance – all on one character, someone he saw one late night on the tube and the light reflected on their face just so. When I think about my movie, I feel like that guy sometimes. That’s probably good.

What would you want to write, make a film, or dance about?

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4 Responses

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  1. slurredpress said, on January 10, 2008 at 7:56 pm

    I’ve always wanted to do the girl’s answer to horror comedies like Slither and Shaun of the Dead.

    There’s still time!

  2. ollka said, on January 11, 2008 at 5:26 am

    April, I dread to think what the girl’s answer to Shaun of the Dead would be:) Hope I get to watch it one day. With popcorn.

    Also, is the ‘o’ in ‘heartworming’ intentional? I’m sorry, please don’t hate me, I just had to ask!

  3. slurredpress said, on January 11, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    Yeah, I said it out loud once during a movie trailer that referred to the film as a “heartwarming crowd pleaser”.

    I prefer heartworming cloud pleasers and I don’t hate you for asking!

  4. ollka said, on January 11, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    What a funny history for a blog name! I’m glad I asked.


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