on musical terms
I have renamed my blog. Mostly because I felt the title was too self-deprecating (I’m not all bad now, am I). But also because the new name speaks to me. El bilbilico means ‘a nightingale’ in Ladino. I found this word in the lyrics to this song:
La rosa enflorese / En el mez de mayo
The rose blooms / In the month of May
Y mi alma se oscurese / Sufriendo delamo
And my soul grows dark / Suffering from love
Los bilbilicos cantan / Sospiran del amor
The nightingales sing / They whisper of love
Y la passion me mata / Muchigua mi dolor
And passion is killing me / Multiplying my pain
This is one of the most beautiful Ladino songs I know, though granted, I don’t know that many. And I’ve been singing it a lot these days. I’ve been singing – that’s all the news.
We used to sing so much, my voice was sometimes hoarse by the evening. We sang on the underground, yelling over the noise of the wheels. We sang in parks, on buses, at school, and at home. A. played the old guitar I free-cycled off the Internet, and my ‘impartial observer’ inner voice kept telling me we sounded cute together.
And then we didn’t sing anymore. Just like that. We were still very much about the music in that we listened to it all the time, and we hummed to ourselves, and we always participated in sing-alongs. We just didn’t sing to each other, the two of us. The guitar was propped against the wall, and I went back to thinking I was completely tone-deaf.
Which I’m not, and I’m slowly understanding that now – when the music is returning. Fingers crossed, we might get it fully back into our lives pretty soon. It’s not easy, as we are now living with the family, and there is much less time and space for music, but damn it, singing is a basic human right! Right?
Also, I’ve downloaded the soundtrack to The Sound of Music. Bliss. On the other hand, I had to erase my whole Last.fm history, which, ohhh the pain. I am, however, determined to view this as a fresh start.