no whales were harmed in the making of this post
My dreams are usually very realistic. They are also quite intense, which can be tiring at times. I’m talking waking up in the morning and not being able to help sulking, because someone hurt your feelings in a dream. I’m talking waking up after seven hours of sleep exhausted, sweaty and with a headache.
I’m also talking the kind of dream where everything is so clear. The kind of dream where a problem I’d been thinking about suddenly solves itself with luxurious grace. Where suddenly I can swim, or drive, or fly a transatlantic jet while performing a Caesarian on a whale. And with class too. It just hits me that I know how to do it.
I dreamed last night that I was roller-skating. I remember that someone invited me to go skating, and that someone was probably important. At any rate, it was vital that I go. Only I can’t skate, see. When I was a kid I was too clumsy, and now I have long given up trying. So here I am, stumbling along, trying to get through a speech along the lines of ‘Can’t… skate… need… stop’.
And then I push through it. I feel the effort now as I type – the tension in every muscle as I perform a decent (not perfect, but good enough!) half-turn and pull into a halt facing the person who made me do this, just as I finish the phrase ‘…which is why I can’t do it’. It is a triumphant kind of effort.
I wish I could repeat it. I feel like this is the trick I’ve been missing. The effort I need to apply to achieve my dreams. And to finish that damn work already, for God’s sake. And to get off my derrière and start working out properly. And all of that other stuff. I now know I have it in me to do all those things and more. The only setback is that I can’t seem to fully believe in it yet. Maybe because of the jet-flying. I was pretty sure then, too.